


Oslo

by lahnal (Xiaolianhua)



Series: Stadium tour 2019 [1]
Category: Rammstein
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-10-12 11:10:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20563328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xiaolianhua/pseuds/lahnal
Summary: Paul realizes something over the stadium tour and decides to talk it out with Richard





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the ending of Ausländer in Oslo concert https://thegothicviking.tumblr.com/post/187108983234/paulchard-kiss-oslo-2019-my-video-but-feel-free

Richard was looking over the rooftops from his hotel room balcony, deep in thoughts as he took a drag from the cigarette hanging loosely between his fingers. Yet another city yet another show to be played on this stadium tour. A small sigh slipped out as he thought back to the concerts and places they traveled through this time. He glanced down as his phone vibrated deep in his pocket. Stubbing the cigarette before he fished out the offending item, ”ya?” 

”Let me in” Paul’s voice filtered through the receiver and the line was cut. 

Staring at the phone, Richard shook his head and sighed again before turning and going inside the hotel room. Tossing the phone to his bed on the way he shuffled to the door to open it. 

”Took you long enough!” Paul huffed, ”where were you anyways, I knocked like five minutes. Thought you’d been swallowed by the toilet or something” He snickered as he stepped inside, closing the door. 

Richard shrugged, not looking at Paul, ”Was smoking at the balcony, didn’t hear you” 

Paul hummed, looking at the other guitarist closely. He took in the wrinkles and dark under eyes that seemed to glow in the harsh light of the hotel room. ”You okay, Reesh? You seem little down under, even more so than in Stockholm.” 

Richard spared a glance at Paul, knowing that he couldn’t really hide anything from the other guitarist. ”Just tired, it’s been a long tour, exciting but you know me, these outdoor elements that I can’t control.” 

”It never rained though..” Paul mused, still watching his friend closely, ”or was very windy. Quite a luck if you think it. I mean, we’ve been at this for how long now, two months maybe more and always warm and nice.” 

”I guess” 

”I know, Reesh.” Paul smiled, stepping closer to hug the other man closely. He pulled the taller man close, holding him with a strong hand around his shoulders. Other coming to rest in the middle of Richard's back. ”Only three more to go and you can rest as much as you need.” He said softly, head resting on Richard’s shoulder. 

Richard huffed but hugged back, leaning into the contact. ”I suppose” He sighed and fell quiet again only to let a small smile dance on his lips as he felt Paul pressing small kisses on his shoulder and daringly on the side of his neck. It felt good, it felt like everything made sense in his world now and here in Paul’s hands. 

Richard pulled away reluctantly from the embrace and looked at Paul who was smiling at him expectantly, ”there’s something else that is bothering you, isn’t there?”

Richard stayed quiet, eyes flickering between Paul’s eyes and lips before moving the gaze somewhere out of the window. He forced out a smile to the other man before moving away to look out of the window, ” Oslo is nice. I heard the northern part of Norway is pretty with the mountains and everything. You’d love it there with your camera.” 

”Maybe I would, we should go some day when we’re not touring”

Richard huffed, ”we should? More like you should with Arielle and your kids would like it too, I know they love mountains.” 

Paul frowned, ”With my wife?” He mused, shaking his head as he took few steps closer to the windows and looked out as well. ”Maybe but she prefers to stay in Berlin and after so long marriage we decided to give space to each other.” 

Richard risked a glance at Paul before fixating his eyes back to the city scenery. 

”I love her, but you know when I told her what we would be doing during this concert tour?” Paul grinned, now turning to look at Richard, ”She told me to go for it.” 

”Of course she would, it’s not like we haven’t kissed in front of her before and she was fine with it” Richard snorted, a small smile on his lips. 

”She loves it” Paul laughed, the familiar crinkles showing next to his eyes as he tilted his head, ”she wants, well… you know.” 

Richard just looked at him flabbergasted, blinking slowly, ”..what?” 

”She’s not opposing us.” Paul said, biting his lower lip as he looked at Richard’s reaction closely. ”She’s not blind, Reesh. After twenty years one starts to see the difference in steady love and exciting love. I suppose she saw it before I even realized. Hell, the guys saw it if all the jokes are to read into.” 

”What you’re trying to say, Paul?” Richard asked, voice low and almost whisper as his mind tried to connect the words and emotions swirling in his head. 

Paul took Richard’s hand in his and squeezed gently, ”I’m saying that a straight man can apparently turn to gay in old age” He smirked and laughed freely at Richards face. 

Richard chuckled after the words registered in his mind, ”Could just swing both ways, why categorize yourself, or is this about me?” 

Paul grinned and pushed Richard with his shoulder, still holding Richard’s hand tightly in his own. ”Both?” He laughed and finally Richard joined the laugh with a shake of head. ”You’re impossible, Paul” 

Paul merely shrugged, ”Got you to laugh at least.” With a grin he tugged on Richard’s hand to make him turn a bit more and splashed a too wide and a too hard kiss on Richards lips. ”Three more shows, we can do this!” He grinned as he pulled back and walked towards the door. ”Dinner’s soon and then we’re off to the stadium.” 

Richard blinked at the other man, staying rooted in the spot long after Paul had left the vicinity. ”What the hell was that?” He mumbled himself as he moved to the shower and started to get ready for the dinner and show tonight, determined to forget what Paul had implied until they’d have more time to actually talk about it. 

But forget he could not. Whole dinner went by with Richard deep in though, stealing glances of Paul and flipping others off when he was caught by the ever watchful eyes of their drummer. 

Going back to their rooms, the drummer held Richard back ”you should just tell him. He won’t leave the group if you think that”

”I’m not thinking that, why would he leave? We promised each other not to” 

Schneider looked at him closely, ”Just so you know, we’re all for it. It’s been rather enjoyable tour with two of your kissing in front of my eyes” He grinned, ”You should do it more” 

”The fuck!” Richard spat, looking at his grinning band mate, ”You sick bastard” 

”I might be sick,” Schneider laughed, ”but I support gay pride, just like you do. Well, not as deeply as I have a wife but you know… talk with Paul and sort it out before I see you relapsing again over this shit.” 

”I promised I won’t.” Richard gritted through his teeth, anger rising in his chest as he stared at the drummer, ”I will not touch the drugs again.” 

”I hope so, for your sake and for Paul’s.” Schneider said quietly before stepping around the guitarist to let himself in his room. Just before he stepped in he looked at Richard, his words coming out soft and quiet in the corridor, ”Even if you find an escape through Emigrate, ever thought how he might do it?” 

Once more Richard found himself stunned and silent as he went over the words of the drummer right there in the middle of the corridor. Shaking himself out of the daze, Richard walked to Paul’s door, knocking on it rapidly with full intent to find out what the hell was going on. 

Paul peered through the eye to see who it was before opened the door. He hardly had time to move out of the way as Richard brushed past him into the room. ”What the fuck, Reesh?!” Paul cursed, closing the door to look at the fuming man. ”What’s gotten into your pants?” 

”Not you.” Richard mumbled under his breath while staring at the other guitarist. 

”What was that?” Paul questioned as he pulled the warm sweater off his body and looked at Richard. 

Richard took a shaky breath through his nose, trying to calm himself down. ”Schneider stopped me just now, talking about the shit we’ve been doing on stage.” 

”Hmm, what about it, the kissing?” Paul shrugged nonchalantly, ”Not the first time we’ve done it. Does it excite him too much? Pervert.” He laughed, grinning at Richard who seemed much less amused about the whole ordeal. 

Richard rolled his eyes as he bit down on his lip, trying to formulate his thoughts into something clear and simple. Failing to do it he looked at Paul, eyes lost and searching. The look in Richard’s eyes alarmed Paul, forcing the smile out of his face as he studied the other, ”It’s not about that is it? Damn, Reesh. We’ve been talking about this, well _trying_ to talk about this already, haven’t we? What you want me to say? Even after all these years, I’m not a mind reader and I very well can’t get into your pretty head and find what is bothering you.” 

”You are bothering me, okay!?” Richard spit out with more anger than was supposed to go in it. He didn’t know what was going on in his mind anymore. He turned his eyes away from Paul, unable to look at his friend right now. 

Paul blinked at his friend, biting back any snarky remark that was trying to come out and instead said, “I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done” in a quiet and soft voice. 

A sigh left Richard’s lips as he took a calming breath and forced himself to look at Paul again, “This kissing… flirting… whatever is the problem.” He said, emphasizing the words with big movements of his hands around the imaginary stage. 

Frowning at the words, Paul took a hesitant step closer to the other guitarist, “Don’t you enjoy it? I thought we decided on it together,” he said, voice quiet and Richard was sure he heard it break at the end. 

“Quite contrary,” He admitted, forcing a quick smile that died almost as it started. “You can’t just keep doing that and tell me that your wife doesn’t care and all the bullshit about becoming gay, Paul. Haven’t you figured out yet why I started Emigrate? Haven’t you read the lyrics, and don’t tell me you don’t understand English enough, I know you do--” 

Paul stared at Richard, unable to say anything and just waited for the other man to finish his monologue. 

“-- Being lost in drugs, lost in live, alone. Then next album about happiness, love and accepting oneself. It’s quite self-explanatory if you ask me. I know you don’t like that I have Emigrate besides Rammstein but I need it. I need it to keep sane and away from drugs. Away from harming myself and the guys, away harming you, Paul” 

“I thought...” Paul started as he sensed that Richard wasn’t going to continue for now and cleared his throat to start again. “I thought it was about your marriage. That’s all I thought, I mean what else could it be, it was right then and there.” 

Richard just hummed, nodding little, “I guess it could be but you know how happy that marriage was.” The words coming out sarcastic and cold. 

Paul fought back the shrug threatening to act out and just smiled sadly, “Marriages end, Richard. It wasn’t your fault. She didn’t care about you or understand what we have to go through as a group” 

“No, Paul, there you are wrong,” Richard said, staring deep into Paul’s confused eyes, “It was my fault, my heart never was with her. Well, at the beginning maybe but not long. I should have stopped it a long before we finally did.” 

“People fall out of love, Richard. For some it turns dull and non-exciting.” He said, studying Richard’s expression closely as he continued, “I don’t know what Schneider said to make you lose yourself this badly but whatever it was, I hope it is talked out between us before we go on stage tonight. As it clearly involves me and our kisses, we better clear this now.” 

“There’s nothing to clear. I told you already.” Richard sighed, voice hinting anger that fought back alive. 

“And I said I’m not a mind reader, Reesh.” Paul sighed, daring to reach Richard’s hand in a way of consolation. He smiled little as Richard allowed him to hold his hand and ever squeezed back little. “Tell me, Reesh. I promise I won’t run away. It’s hurting me to see you like this.” 

Richard took a deep breath, lifting his eyes to look at Paul closely. He blinked and didn’t stop himself this time as he leaned in and pressed lips on Paul’s. He kept the pressure long enough to convey the message before pulled back. “I want you, Paul.” He said quiet and embarrassed before squeezing Paul’s hand once more and left the room without looking back at the other guitarist. 

It was Paul’s turn to stand dazed and confused as he looked at the now long closed door of his hotel room. Out of all the possible reasons he has thought Richard acted the way he did, this surely wasn’t one. Paul nodded to himself, determined to get this over with today. Paul gathered his things and walked to the lobby to wait with the rest to be taken to the venue. Richard came in last, blatantly avoiding Paul’s eyes as he shuffled to the van past him with music blaring loudly from his headphones. 

“What’s up with him?” Till asked Paul as Richard all but pushed past them. 

Paul shrugged, “He said he was tired? How should I know.” 

Till looked at him skeptically but let it go, “hope he takes whatever's in his ass out there before we get to the stage. I don’t need him to ruin this for us and the fans”

“He loves being on stage and the fans, you know. He’ll perform just fine, Till” Paul said and followed everyone to the van, taking the furthest seat from Richard just in case. 

The preparations for the concert went as normal as ever, Paul going over his guitars on the other side of the stage while Richard did his part at the other end. Richard seemed to have found his will to live and perform again as the clock ticked closer the starting time and they arranged a line under the stage when the prelude started to play loudly. 

Paul kept glancing at Richard during the show, even getting some excited smiles back from the lead guitarist as he got lost in what he loved the most. 

It was during the boat ride back to the stage after Engel that Paul decided what he was going to do at the end of Ausländer. There was no way he’d let their earlier talk and the sudden confession over a kiss to make things awkward between them. And he knew that the fans expected them to kiss as they’d skipped that in Stockholm. 

Starting the outro Paul kept in place, fingers playing the well memorized melody over and over again. He glanced at the other end of the stage where Richard seemed to be as intent on staying at his end as Paul was. Scoffing himself Paul turned and started slowly to walk towards the center stage, giving a ghost of a smile when he noticed Richard to turn and start walking as well. This time it felt different somehow, the walk never ending and slow on both sides as they decreased the space between each other. 

Paul reached the center stage first, stopping to reach his right hand towards Richard who seemed to stop further away and not walk until the end as he finished the melody. Paul wasn’t going to take it though and he stepped bravely forward, waiting patiently for the other guitarist to take one more step with the last chord. Paul smiled and closed the space between to lean over, hand resting briefly on Richard’s shoulder as he kissed him slow yet quick. He felt Richard’s arm winding itself around his shoulders as he tightened his own around the other’s in strong hug. “I want you too, Reesh” Paul said loud enough for Richard to hear, his own face hidden behind Richard’s. He felt Richard’s smile against his cheek and strong arm squeeze harder on his shoulders before stepping away with a smile that mirrored Richard’s. With a step Paul strung his guitar jokingly, giving a sign to the others to begin the next song. 

Paul noticed that Richard kept looking at his way more than usual, flashing the bright grin to everyone that crossed his eyesight. Richard glanced over as the first rain drops started to fall at the end of Rammstein. Paul seemed to enjoy the rain at fullest as he looked up while playing with the huge smile on his face. Richard scoffed, he wasn’t a big fan of rain but this time it felt fine and at least it was near the end, only one more song left. He couldn’t wait to get back to his hotel room and preferably with Paul there. They had a lot to talk about and he would be skipping the after party regardless the jokes he’d get from the rest of the group. Standing up from their thank you's he waves to the crowd and walked under the stage, half excited half scared of the upcoming evening. 

Richard took a quick shower at the stadium before dressing up in warm clothes. Lighting a cigarette he leaned against the wall and waited the rest to finish up cleaning. He let his eyes close at the feel of nicotine rushing through his veins. 

“That was quite sweet of you two today.” Schneider smiled at Richard as he leaned next to him. “What he said to you, I couldn’t hear” 

“Not your business” Richard mumbled, side-eyeing his band mate. “Are we having a party tonight? I’m out if we are. Don’t want to get sick with the rain and shit” 

“Not sure, I’m quite spent too and I promised to call home today.” The drummer said, “thankfully this tour is soon finished. It surely doesn’t get easier when we get old.” He laughed and pushed himself off the wall as the rest of their group joined them. “Richard and me are out, anyone else coming to the hotel?” 

Paul nodded his agreement, “Might as well, I planned to do museum trip tomorrow.” 

“You and your museums” Till muttered with a shake of head. “I guess we all just skip today, ya? Let’s go” 

The ride back was loud, everyone still hyped up about the concert as usual. Richard walked slowly towards his own room when Paul caught up with him, “It was nice, the rain,” he beamed at the other guitarist. “It always gets so fucking hot during the end with all the pyro at my face” 

Richard nodded, chuckling little, “Yeah… still don’t like it though” 

Paul shrugged nonchalantly and laughed, stopping in front of his hotel room door. “You wanna come in for awhile?” He asked, looking at Richard expectantly. 

“I guess I should” Richard said, rubbing his neck in embarrassed manner, “for a while, to talk, you know..” 

Paul just smiled at him and opened the door, leaving it open for the other guitarist to walk in. “I have beer at the fridge if you want” 

Richard closed the door before stepping towards the minifridge, “Might as well.” Taking out two bottles he handed one to Paul before taking a seat on one of the chairs. 

Paul took it with a quiet thanks and kicked his shows off before sitting on his bed. The silence stretching between them as they sipped their drinks. After a few minutes Paul cleared his throat and looked at Richard as he sensed that the other man wasn’t going to talk, “you heard me on the stage, right?” He watched Richard to nod but the other man kept quiet, just looking back with a soft smile. “So… Arielle’s fine with us. Hell, I’m more than fine with it if you are.” 

Richard nodded, gnawing on his lower lip, “but is she really? I mean.. hell, I’m not sure what I want but she’s your wife. Are you divorcing or something” 

That caused Paul to chuckle lowly with a wide smile as he shook his head, “Nah, I still do love her you know? It’s just different, she understands and accepts it. We’ve talked it out before this stadium tour started. Think of it as polygamous, I think that’s the word” He mused, slightly embarrassed and took a drink from his beer. “I certainly didn’t plan it… this, to happen. It just did. I’m too old to ignore what makes me happy. She told me that at least I won’t be having babies with this side affair” He laughed brightly, grinning at Richard whose eyes got wide in surprise as he heard the words.

“No way she said that!” 

“She did!” Paul laughed, “And well, it’s true.” He smirked before falling serious again, “I won’t let it affect the band. If you don’t want to try, I’ll just keep on going, the way we’ve been doing for years.” 

“No, I want to” Richard said determinedly and stood up to sit next to Paul on the bed. “It’s just too much. I.. I never thought it would come to this. You’re my best friend since forever.” He chuckled in disbelief, “a married one that is. How I’m supposed to even believe what you said and that you’re not just messing with me.” 

“Do I look like I’m messing with you?” Paul asked in all seriousness, laying a hand on Richard’s thigh as he tried to peer into his eyes. “It’s not easy for me either. Suddenly realizing that I might love someone else more than I do my own wife. And even more that the subject of it is a man, my friend and a band member.” 

Richard frowned, flipping his head up to look at Paul, eyes searching with a hint of hope. “You’re probably just confused” 

Paul smiled with his eyes and squeezed Richard’s tight, “If I haven’t learned my emotions in over fifty years then I would be quite an idiot, don’t you think? I like to think I’m not one” He grinned, eyes sparkling with mirth. “I’m quite sure I know how love feels like, I can even distinguish between romantic and friendly one, imagine that.” 

Richard laughed at that, pushing Paul hard enough to make him stop laughing for a second and correct his posture. “You would” 

“Damn right I would.” Paul nodded, finishing his beer. “So, are we going to try this? Whatever you want to call it, affair? Relationship? I don’t know but as for now at least, I’m not going to divorce yet I’d love to have you in my love life as well.” 

Richard hummed as he fell in deep thoughts. This was what he had been wanting for a long while. All the years, the pain of not having what he truly wanted, the miss-matched marriages all made sense now as he stared at the other guitarist, his best friend who managed to always surprise him and make things better. Was he ready to take the step and was he really ready to share him with someone else? Sighing Richard finished his beer before looking at the other man, meeting his expectant eyes, soft yet unyielding as he waited for the answer. 

“I don’t usually share, you know I’m possessive in my relationships.” Richard said, looking at Paul. “I don’t know if that’ll change or how I behave when I visit your house” 

“Does it have to change? You visit and we do what feels the best. I’ll talk with my wife about that, if we keep our house between us or let you in as my lover. We can meet and hang out elsewhere too, you know. At your place or rent a flat somewhere” 

“You’ve really thought about this haven't you, Paul.” Richard smiled, “I…” He sighed, swallowing before grasping on Paul’s hand on his thigh, “This is stupid, we’re too old for this.” He mumbled before leaned in to kiss Paul, soft and gentle as if letting the other man to choose where to go from there. 

Paul smiled against his lips, softly kissing him back before pulling back enough to look at Richard, “I take that as yes” 

Richard laughed, deeply and freely as he smirked back, “You know me, bad with words better with action” 

Paul grinned and closed the space between them again. It felt weird, kissing another man, feeling the stubble against his cheek, strong and masculine but it also felt so right. He deepened the kiss, letting it go on for minutes before leaning their foreheads together as he stared at Richard. “Yeah, I know and this is weird but so wonderful.” 

Richard nuzzled his nose before kissing it. “We’ve got all the time.” 

Paul laughed, winding his arms around Richard and hugged him close. “I do love you, even if you’re a bit dense” 

Richard gasped, slapping Paul’s back hard but playfully, “Yah! I might still change my mind” 

“Nah, you won’t. You love me too” Paul smiled all wide and loving as he leaned away from the hug and raised an eyebrow at Richard. “Now shut up and kiss me before I kick you out of my room” 

“I can do that” Richard chuckled and kissed Paul hard and deep, trying to convey all his feelings that he couldn’t talk about into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic in over 5 years. Looking for a beta to make things flow better and fix my stupid grammar mistakes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments! They mean a lot to me! 
> 
> Changed the rating to match the inevitable outcome. :D

Paul sighed into the kiss as he let Richard deepen it. Tongues playing shyly with each other as he felt Richard’s hand coming to rest on the back of his head, fingers pressing softly in his hair. 

Not really sure what to do with his hands Paul shifted closer to touch Richard’s arm, sliding the hand up and down his arm before resting it on his shoulder. Richard gave a satisfied sigh in the kiss before moving back enough to look at Paul closely with a soft smile. “I’ve been wanting to do that so long.” 

Paul glanced down with an embarrassed smile for a moment before looking back at Richard, “Yeah? Well now there’s nothing stopping you from doing just that” He grinned bravely and wet his lip with a slow lick. 

Richard groaned at that and kissed Paul again, swallowing his laughter and turning it to a gasp. Paul allowed Richard to take the lead, content to match his kisses and licks for now as they familiarized themselves with each others’ tastes. 

Withdrawing from the kiss Paul looked at Richard closely, the other’s lips swollen and red from the kisses and eyes dark with beginning of arousal, hair soft and tousled from the earlier shower. With a smile, Paul lifted his hand up to cup Richard’s chin, thumb swiping across his cheek gently, “I’ve been thinking..” 

“Well, good that you sometimes do” Richard smirked, unable to stop the words and he just hoped Paul wouldn’t take it wrong. 

“Fuck you” Paul laughed, pushing Richard hard enough that the other man fell back on the bed in surprise. 

“Not today Paul, maybe someday” Richard leered, reaching for Paul’s arm to pull him down to lay on the bed, “tonight I want to make you feel good,” he smiled, pressing a soft kiss on Paul’s hand. “Or if you’re not ready then we’ll just kiss and cuddle.” 

“Oh I’m ready, I think” Paul said, hoping that the sheets hid at least some of his blush that he felt on his cheeks. 

Richard nodded, turning on his side to angle the kiss better as he leaned closer. This time it was Paul who deepened the kiss, arousal fueling his need of the other man. Hands exploring the soft curves of the lead guitarist, hesitant as he tugged Richard’s shirt little to slide his hand under the shirt. 

Richard allowed Paul to explore, sighing contently as Paul’s warm hand cast over his skin. Richard mimicked the action, sliding a hand over Paul’s side, gently rubbing slow circles on his back and thigh before moving to touch his arousal. Paul’s breath hitched at the touch but he didn’t move away, instead he pushed closer, needing more. 

Richard moved to take off his own shirt before helping Paul to take off his own. Paul shifted, scratching his arm self-consciously as he watched Richard to look at himself. It certainly wasn’t first time they’d seen each other shirtless or even naked but the intimate situation made all the difference. 

Richard’s smile was soft and tender as his eyes followed the line of his hand, fingertips shifting over Paul’s pale skin. He touched the dark ink stark against the paleness of the skin, tracing the lines with his finger before leaned in to kiss Paul’s chest. He pecked small kisses over the soft skin, glancing up with a smile as he noticed Paul looking right back at him with a matching smile. Bracing himself with a hand on the other man’s shoulder, Richard moved to lay partly on top of Paul, kissing his shoulder and neck, teeth scraping just barely on the skin. 

Paul sighed contently, shuddering at the kisses as much as the added pressure on his arousal when Richard shifted to lay on top of him. Moving his arms around the other mans’ body Paul ground upwards for more friction at the same time as he searched for Richard’s lips in needy kiss. 

Richard moaned in the kisses, kissing him back just as hungrily; tongues meeting and fighting for dominance between their lips, hips aligning and moving against each other, needing more, desperate for contact. 

Richard was breathless when he slid down Paul’s body again, trailing kisses on his way. He stopped to suck Paul’s nipple, toying it with his tongue before biting down slightly. The gasp and moan that left the other guitarists’ mouth at the contact only fueled Richard more, twisting the other nub with his fingers as he repeated the actions with his tongue. “Richard...” Paul rasped, surprising himself with the need and want in his voice but he couldn’t care less right now. He wanted more, anything but the teasing. 

“You like that?” Richard mumbled, looking up at Paul as he moved to the other nipple, licking it slowly, teasingly flipping the tip of his tongue over the hard nub. They eyes met and Paul groaned at the sight of the other man wide eyed looking back at him with dark eyes, cheeks flushed with contained arousal. 

Paul nodded, wetting his dry lips as he propped himself up on forearms when Richard’s hands ran downwards, cupping his bulge through the pants, “Let’s take these off, shall we?” Richard mused, opening the buttons swiftly. Paul reached to stop him, “what we’re going to do? I don’t think I’m ready for… that, you know?” 

Richard knelt between Paul’s legs, squeezing his hand tightly, reassuringly as he nodded slightly, “I know, we’re not going that far today. I’ll stop whenever you tell me to” He said, waiting for an approval to continue with the task in hard. 

Paul’s approval came after a moment in a shape of nod and a squeeze before he let go of Richard’s hand. Richard pressed a kiss low on Paul’s abdomen before slowly with the help from the other man, removed Paul’s pants. Standing up briefly, he took off his own pants, arousal clearly visible trapped in his underwear. 

Paul swallowed at the sight and sat up on bed to kiss still standing man’s stomach. His hands resting on Richard’s hips as he licked and pressed small kisses on the soft skin, loving the way it made Richard shudder. He had never done anything like this to a man before but the response he got from the other man prompted him to continue.

Paul’s hands moved over the expanse of skin, mapping it out before resting a hand on Richard’s hip as the other pressed down on Richard’s arousal. He grinned at the soft skin he was kissing at the gasp leaving Richard’s lips at the contact. He pressed down again, massaging gently as he licked along the hemline of his boxers. 

Richard swallowed, looking down at Paul. He met the other’s eyes, mirroring the want and need he knew his own portrayed. Wetting his suddenly dry lips Richard let Paul tug down his boxers, stepping out of them as Paul wrapped hand around his length. 

“Paul...” He breathed, eyes still fixated on the other man’s. The raw need in Richard's eyes mixed with something that Paul couldn't name at the moment spurred him on, making him forget the uncertainty of his actions and he let himself just enjoy this moment without worrying. 

“What?” Paul asked, languidly stroking Richard’s length as he looked up with wide eyes. When their gazes locked he winked and leaned in to lick the tip of Richard’s hardness, making the other man shudder again and momentarily close eyes at the feelings. “You don’t want me to stop, do you?” He challenged, making sure to look up at him as he licked slowly from the base to the tip, letting his tongue twirl around it before closing lips around the tip. 

Richard cursed lowly, hand gripping on Paul’s hair, silently asking for more. “Not what I had in mind but I’m not complaining” He said, hips jerking forward to get more of the other guitarists’ warm mouth.

“Eager are we” Paul chuckled, stroking the length before holding it from the base and slowly took in more. He moaned as he felt Richard’s fingers tugging his hair. He breathed hard through his nose as he started to pop on the length, hand twisting and turning around the base, occasionally dropping on Richard’s balls as he sucked, tongue trailing along a vein and making the other man moan deeply. 

After a while, Richard pushed Paul off his length, pressing hard on his shoulder to make the other man fall on the bed. 

Paul scooted back, licking his swollen lips as he watched the other guitarist crawl on top of himself after removing the remaining clothing between them. Richard kissed him hard, all tongue and teeth clashing but neither man seemed to care, too lost in the feeling. 

Richard humped their hips together, moaning in the open-mouthed kisses as he did so. Paul sighed under him, hands holding on hard on his back, helping them to move together, closer, harder. 

Richard broke the kisses, sucking and licking his way across Paul’s chest and stomach as his hand jerked the other man off slowly. Maintaining an eye-contact he blew on the hard length, smirking at the shudder and groan Paul sighed at the teasing contact. Unable to resist any longer, Richard took the hard length in, hollowing his cheeks as he descended as far as he could. Paul’s hips bucked up, forcing the other to gag slightly and pull off. Swallowing Richard tsk’ed him, pressing down hard with his arm over Paul’s abdomen to keep him in place. 

Paul groaned at that, the complaint soon turning into a pleasured moan as Richard started to pleasure him again with his mouth. He closed his eyes at the pleasure, enjoying the feeling of calloused and rough fingertips teasing his length as Richard sucked on his balls softly, wringing out sounds that Paul would’ve found embarrassing if not lost in the moment. 

Richard smirked, licking along the length before engulfing it again and popped his head faster, sucking harder as he heard Paul’s breath hitch. Paul breathed out a warning, orgasm close as he looked down. He tugged Richard’s hair, grasped on his shoulder as his hips bucked once more. 

Richard pulled off, jerking him fast, squeezing and twisting just so to get the other man over the edge. He let himself be pulled up, answering Paul’s feverish kiss as he older man released between them with a sigh and muffled moan. 

Richard swallowed the sounds with his kisses before dropping his head on Paul’s shoulder, swiftly jerking himself off. It took him only few strokes before he released on his hand, muffling his cry of pleasure by biting down on Paul’s shoulder as Paul held him through the shivers. 

They took a moment to catch their breath before Richard got up to get a towel from the bathroom and cleaned them up. 

“Thanks” Paul smiled, taking the towel and dried his hand as well before tossing it aside and reached for Richard. The guitarist smiled, pecked his lips before settling on the bed next to Paul. 

Paul turned on his side, facing Richard and just watched at him with a smile for a while, warm hand coming to rest upon Richard’s chest. He shifted to kiss him again, slow and tender before laid his head down on Richard’s shoulder. “That was nice.” He sighed, hand drawing random patterns on the soft skin. 

“Just nice?” Richard teased, craning to look at Paul with an amused look. 

Paul shushed him and tweaked his nipple making Richard yelp, “ you know what I mean” he chuckled, caressing the abused nipple gently with his fingers. 

“Yeah… I know and it was.” Richard said softly, pressing a kiss on Paul’s temple. “Should’ve done this a lot sooner.” 

Paul giggled at that, glancing up, “better late than never, Kruspe. You’re staying the night?” He asked, yawning widely. 

“If you have me” Richard shrugged, not really wanting to move but still thoughtful enough to give Paul a chance to choose in case the other guitarist wanted to think alone about what had happened between them. 

Paul hummed and pecked Richard’s chin, “stay” 

Richard smiled, yawning as he nudged Paul, “I’ll wash up and get some clothes. Be back soon. You should get cleaned up too while I’m gone.”

Paul pouted little but moved with a sigh. Getting off the bed he collected his clothes, arranging them neatly on a chair before padding to the bathroom. Richard laughed at him, pulling on his clothes hastily and left to his own room but not before taking Paul’s key card with him. 

After some time, he let himself in Paul’s room, finding it comfortably dim as only the bedside lamps were on. Paul looked up from the book he was reading when Richard stepped in. Richard returned the smile and stripped down to boxers before climbed under the covers. 

Paul marked the page and flipped the book closed, settling it on the bedside table before shifting down to face the other man. “Hi” He grinned, all happy and bubbly. 

“Hey” Richard grinned, unable to resist the other man and kissed his nose. 

They fell in comfortable silence and Richard was sure Paul had fallen asleep until he heard his low voice barely above a whisper. “Reesh?” Richard hummed but didn’t say anything, “Thank you” Paul wasn’t sure what he was thanking the other man for, maybe for accepting his feelings, probably for agreeing this weird set up of a relationship and for the trust and honestly in his actions.

“No need to.” Richard answered after a moment, turning on his side to look at Paul. “I don’t know how I’ll be able to work this out though. I know I can’t control you or your wife and I don’t want to.” He said hastily as he saw Paul starting talk again. “I’ll try because I want this to work too. It’s something I’ve wanted for a long while and I’m sure after some time I’ll find a way to cope with the sharing.” 

“I hope you do. This is lovely,” Paul smiled, touching Richard’s bicep with his hand and letting it just stay there for a moment. “I really meant it before, you know, when I said we can stay at your house rather than mine. Go on that trip to the north of Norway together, I meant that too” Paul grinned at Richard, scratching his bicep and making Richard laugh at the contact. “As long as it takes, we’ll try to make this work. If it doesn’t… if we can’t find a solution, we’ll think about it then. But at least for now, I want to enjoy this, enjoy _you_ the fullest and not worry about the future.” 

“Ever optimistic” Richard mused, “but you’re right about one thing, I want to enjoy this too. But I won’t promise it will go all smooth back in Berlin. It might now as we’re away from home but when we’re back there how it’ll ever work? I mean, you go to your wife, I stay alone at my apartment, someday you call and come over and then what? We fuck and you leave back home, it’s not what I want. That’s hardly a good relat-” 

Paul stopped the rant with a kiss on Richard’s lips, not moving until he felt Richard answer to it. He let the kiss go on for a while before pulling back with a smile, “We’ll work that out later. Now, sleep Reesh. Time to sleep” He mumbled and let out another huge yawn. 

Richard chuckled at him, “Good night, Paulchen.” He murmured, pressing a kiss on his cheek before turning the lights off and settling down to sleep. Richard smiled in the darkness as Paul’s arm wound its way around his middle, pulling them closer, “good night”.


	3. Chapter 3

Paul woke up in the morning, groggy and too hot. He yawned widely, turning to lay on his back as he tried to will himself back to sleep. A small snore made him open his eyes and look around, sleepy gaze coming to rest on Richard’s sleeping face. Paul smiled himself, the events of last night coming back as a sweet memory. 

Richard was sleeping on his side, facing Paul with one hand stuffed comfortably under his pillow and other splayed on the bed in front. His lashes fluttered as he dreamed, making Paul’s fingers itch with a want to trace the sleeping man’s cheek. 

As Paul continued to observe the other quietly, his mind raced a mile; thinking about what Richard had said last night on how he was bad at sharing and how Paul himself seemed to think it wouldn’t be that much of a problem. But it could be a problem for himself too and Paul was old enough to understand it. Biting back a sigh, his thoughts shifted to their friendship; would it now be ruined forever if this did not work out? Would this be the end of the whole band if they ended up fighting and truly breaking up now that romantic feelings were involved. Paul knew that as much as himself, if not more, Richard was in this with his heart, he did confess didn’t he? Paul smiled softly at that, unable to resist anymore and touched softly Richard’s cheek, chuckling quietly at the stubble he felt and the scrunch of nose the other man did in his sleep at the touch. 

Paul let his hand drop from Richard’s face to lay on top of his hand on the bed, turning on his side to face the still sleeping man. His mind now filling with images of last night, how nervous he was yet how natural it all had felt. Somehow they had fallen in rhythm without speaking it out, bodies in sync as they had pleasured each other. Paul squeezed Richard’s hand gently, watching him as he thought how different the sleeping man was from his public image and just how lucky he was to have received the attention and kisses and cuddles from the man over the years. 

His thoughts were ceased as Richard stirred, blinking sleepily as his gaze focused on the other man and a sleepy grin spread on his lips, ”morning gorgeous” 

Paul giggled and smiled brightly at that, ”morning, slept well?” 

Richard hummed, yawning widely, ”yeah, best in a while” he smiled, shuffling closer to kiss him softly, hesitantly, just lips on lips. Paul smiled in it and moved his arm around Richard’s middle, holding on tight as he deepened the kiss. 

The kiss, soft and languid, continued for a while as both enjoyed the closeness and unhurried morning. Richard broke the kiss to smile at Paul, cupping his chin softly as he gazed into his eyes. ”No regrets?” He asked, eyes searching for an answer in Paul’s. 

Paul wasn’t sure what to answer, on one hand he had absolutely no regrets at all but on the other, the small part of him that had thought that Richard would never agree on this arrangement did nag at the back of his brain for his stupidy of possibly ruining their friendship and the band. 

”Paulchen?” Richard probed with a frown, obviously reading the silence so that Paul was regretting what had happened. He let his hand drop from the older man’s face, ”So you are having regrets, fuck.” He sighed, making a move to leave the bed. 

”No!” Paul said louder than he was planning to but it at least stopped the younger in his track, ”I don’t regret it, Reesh. I wanted it as much as you did. I- I still want this.. you. I was just thinking how I thought you would not agree with this.” Paul said, trying to convince the other with a bright smile, ”and that got me distracted but really, you didn’t fuck this up” 

Richard looked only half convinced at that but he didn’t say anything more nor did he move away. 

Paul sighed and took Richard’s hand. Keeping an eye-contact he slid their hands under the covers and on his bare skin. Ever so slowly he slid their hands down on his body, stopping when their hands reached his bulge. ”I regret many things in life, Reesh but you’re not one. I want you” He said, smirking as he felt himself twitch under Richard’s warm hand. 

The younger mirrored the lewd smirk, kissing him feverishly as he palmed Paul’s erection. ”So it would seem” He mumbled against Paul’s lips before biting on them gently. 

Paul whimpered, kissing Richard deeply with their tongues battling for dominance between their lips. He pushed on Richard’s shoulder, forcing him to lay down on his back as he climbed on top. Laying flush against the other man’s body, Paul moaned in the kisses. The feeling of Richard’s hard length against his own felt still so new and exciting. 

Grinding against Richard, the older guitarist moved to kiss his neck, down his collarbones to his nipples. Paul grasped Richard’s hand in his, entwining their fingers next to Richard’s head on the bed. Supporting himself up, the older continued to explore Richard’s body with his hand and eyes, head dipping down once in a while to kiss the soft skin. 

Richard sighed, feeling slightly embarrassed under the deep scrutiny of Paul’s eyes. Paul glanced up with a smile and Richard mirrored it quietly. 

”I love your tan” Paul mused, licking Richard’s stomach before blowing on the stop to make goosebumps dance on the skin. He giggled at that, blowing some more to make Richard shudder and complain. 

Paul just shrugged and shot one of his bright smiles up to the other before slid downwards, sliding hands over Richard’s thighs, massaging the muscles gently as he peppered kisses on the soft inner thigh. He could feel Richard’s gaze on him as he ignored the growing hardness right in front of his face and just continued to map his body slowly. 

As his fingers dipped behind Richard’s knee the other guitarist jerked and pulled his leg away in haste. Paul grinned mischievously as he reached for the leg again and forced him to stay put as he tickled the same spot again. 

”Fuck Paul, stop that!” Richard gritted, trying not to laugh too hard. It tickled so much yet until now he had managed to keep that in secret from his band members. 

”I didn’t know you’re tickly there.” Paul grinned as he stored the new information deep in his memory for future use and let Richard’s leg free. 

”Fuck off, you better forget it” Richard said only mildly annoyed but still hoping that the information will slip from the other man’s mind quick and fast. 

”Never!” Paul grinned proudly and tapped his temple, ”all safe and sound right here” 

Richard huffed and sat up, pulling Paul roughly in a hard kiss. ”You’re forgetting something, get back to it.” He breathed against Paul’s lips as he cupped his erection roughly. Paul laughed in the kiss, the laughter soon turning into a moan as Richard started to stroke his length. Paul ungracefully tugged off his boxers as the kiss continued sloppy and passionate. After a small struggle to free himself of the garment he pushed Richard to lay down again and broke the kiss to pull off the younger’s underwear. 

Tossing the garment aside, Paul stared at the other guitarist, admiring his lover for a while silently. Richard squirmed under the scrutiny and complained quietly making Paul flash a bright smile to his way. Without a word, the older cupped Richard’s balls, teasing them as his other hand encased his cock. 

Paul locked eyes with Richard as he pleasured him with his hands. Wetting his lips the older leaned in to kiss Richard, amused about the whiny noises he drew out from the other mans’ lips as his hand continued to twist and turn and squeeze and nails scrape on the soft flesh. 

Richard’s hand came to rest on the back of Paul’s head, demanding and strong as he kept the older man close, hips jerking up to the touch. He growled at a certain scratch of nails right under the head of his length. ”Fuck Paul” He rasped, ”keep doing that and I can’t hold back” 

Paul grinned and scratched him again as he dropped head on Richard’s shoulder to bite and kiss the soft, tanned skin. He lapped on the sweat forming, marking him right under his clavicle. 

Richard gasped as he involuntarily released between them with a strangled sigh. Paul milked him through it before quickly finished himself as well. He took a minute before reached for the same towel they had used last night, still laying on the floor next to the bed. Cleaning both he tossed it away before laid down close but not touching the other. 

”Come here” Richard mumbled as he wound arm around Paul’s shoulders and pulled the other guitarist flush against his side. Paul let himself to be pulled around and rested his head on Richard’s shoulder with a slight awkward angle but neither cared. The older smiled as Richard pressed a soft lingering kiss on his temple. Both men stayed quiet, neither wanting to break the comfortable silence surrounding them. 

After a long while Paul stretched, rolling on his back, ”I could get used to this.” He smiled, eyes closed. 

”Teasing and getting me off?” Richard said with a teasing tone, peeking at the other under his lashes. 

Paul’s laugh was sudden and infectious making Richard chuckle as well, ”That too.” Paul said and glanced at the other before growing serious again, ”But it’s not what I meant and you know that.” 

Richard nodded, gently caressing Paul’s stomach before letting it rest on the soft skin. ”I know. I could too but maybe we shouldn’t.” 

”I told you it’s fine” Paul sighed after a moment, ”We.. I-” He started but stopped, collecting his thoughts and arranging the words before continuing, ”I want this to continue after the tour. This is exciting and new and somewhat scary yet it feels so right and so familiar, you know? I know nothing about being with a man.” He confessed with an embarrassed laugh, ”but I think we can work that out together if you’re willing. I know I am.” 

Richard observed the other, ”It’s not like I know much about that either” He said quietly, he had been with a man before, drunk and too high off his head to really remember anything. ”You’re right though, this feels familiar and somehow homely? Like different from the other relationships I’ve had. Must be the years we’re fought and made up together in the group.” 

”That” Paul agreed, resting his hand on top of Richard’s on his stomach. ”You still didn’t answer my question” 

”What?” 

Paul huffed, ”Are you willing or not? Because I-” 

Richard’s laughter halted Paul’s speech, rendering him speechless and just stared at the other with a raised eyebrow. 

”Dense or what? I told you it days ago, I thought I told you it again last night and kind of just before too.” Richard said, laughter still vivid in his tone as he looked at Paul’s flabbergasted expression, ”I told you it won’t be easy but I’m willing to try.” He reminded the other, ”So doesn’t that answer your question?” 

Paul smiled at him sheepishly, knowing that he just had wanted to hear it again from the other guitarist. How could he have forgotten that in the first place. ”So… who’s fucking who?” Paul asked boldly.

Richard sputtered, caught off guard by the other guitarist. Paul just laughed at him, eyes disappearing with mirth. He took the opportunity to peck the other’s lips joyfully, “I suppose we’ll figure that out later, eh? I’m kind of curious how it feels though.” 

Richard managed to compose himself to answer with a grin, ”well, I’m ready to show that to you someday. As far as I know usually the taller is topping..” 

”As if.” 

”Mhmm, just google it or whatever, watch porn. Might as well learn something” 

”We’ll switch” Paul finalized and finally got off the bed. ”Let’s get something to eat, you’re gonna accompany me with the museums or not?” 

”I’m fucking hungry so yes for the eating but as if I’d ever voluntarily join you for museums. I have things to sort out” Richard said and got up to leave to his own room to shower and change. 

Paul laughed freely at that, promising to meet him in half an hour at the lobby for the brunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not satisfied with this nor I know how to satisfy myself with this. I just decided to post this as it's been bugging me for past weeks. 
> 
> Now I can concentrate on the lovely prompts I found so expect for oneshots from me.


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